There is a growing problem facing all of the classes of WoW; Mages, Warlocks, Priests, etc… I’m talking about the over indulgence of conjured foods! Be it your Fish Feast, your Firecracker Salmon, or your Conjured Mana Strudels. With mana and health pools growing steadily, the need for more conjured foods has reflected this demand. Sometimes as much as an entire stack is consumed during a raid. As a result, the rate of overweight toons on all realms is staggering!
On this day, March 12th, 2010, I declair this to be National Warcraft Fitness Day! Yes, apparently I do have that authority…
So take your toon and join the rest of the realm as they spend the day running laps through Un’Goro, bike the trails of Stranglethorn Vale, and hike the mountains of Storm Peaks.
Just remember, even though conjured items disappear upon logout, it doesn’t mean their calories do!
I have yet to notice a difference in my shaman! All the mail armor makes he look like he’s fit, and he eats rhino dogs and drinks kungaloosh only! I’ll take him to hike the Stormpeaks (so long alliance doesn’t want to kill me first)
Well, what your shammy doesn’t want you to know is that he secretly wears a Support Girdle under all that gear! It flattens, shapes, lifts, and separates all that flab! It even slims your character down 2 Tier sizes. All for only 2 easy payments of 19.95 gold!
XD
but all that conjured food dissapears after 15 minutes of logging out!
THE TRUTH IS REVEALED!
hmm… kinda like chinese food.
My paladins and druid are on a strict no conjured food diet. Only Black Jelly for them!
/shudder
Hate to nickpick, but 54g of fat x 9 calories a gram =/= 2600 calories from fat. If you calculate the calories from fat and carbs (no protein or alcohol to contribute in here), you get around 1400 calories per serving (9 calories per gram of fat, 4 calories per carbohydrate). Sorry for being a massive nerd. Otherwise, great comic =)
@flame: heh, yeah, the food disappears on logout… the calories don’t! >) unless it’s Chinese food… that just despawns 30min after eating.
@Medros: I’m not sure how I feel about peanut butter and black jelly sandwiches.
@Flintte: Yeah, I totally pulled those figures out of my rear… actually, I got the % conversions from looking at the back of my Pringle’s can. XD I just can’t resist the horseradishy goodness! But, thanks for the infos! I was kinda wondering how all that stuff was calculated. And there aint nuttin wrong with bein’ a nerd! >D
I wanna know about restrooms; specifically the fact that none of our characters ever, ever uses one. Therefore WoW toons must have absolutely perfect digestion and absorption of all consumed food and drink, and therefore they should be even fatter than a real world equivalent who eats and drinks the same things. - Either that or they burn absurd amounts of calories in the course of daily activities.:P
naw, they just hold it in until you log off. they’re just classy like that.
@Paciphae
Don’t you know what the characters do when we’re logged out?
And how do you expect them to get fat while carrying things like… a Boulder
( http://www.wowhead.com/?item=35734#comments ) or all their plate armor?
(Mages I would understand, as all they do is teleport around)
Warlocks? Sorry, but I’m a longtime warlock, and I think I’ve forgotten what the darn things are even used for.
Oh, come to think of it, don’t they restore your health a little bit? Oh wait, that’s Fel Armor. And it’s not rage or energy… I’m stumped.
Wait, that’s gotta be it! Runic Power, how silly of me.
It’s so funny you mention that… on my ret pally, I NEVER use any food unless it’s for a buff! Just heal and pop Divine Plea. Guess that’s how them BELFs stay so thin…
I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us.
/looks at Coffinshaker
Proton packs on!
lol, stay puffed marshmallow man? XD
……..Food is a bad money spender i like poitons
yeah, but potions just have so much high fructose corn syrup… it’s so not healthy.